In every family, workplace, and group of friends, there’s always someone who silently carries the weight of others—offering help, support, and strength without expecting much in return. These are the people we often take for granted while they are alive. We remember how many times we asked them for help, but we rarely ask them how they are doing. We don’t inquire about their struggles, their dreams, or their pain. They keep everything bottled up, not because they don’t want to share, but because no one ever asks. We see their strength and assume they don’t need support. But strength doesn’t mean they’re not hurting. Silence doesn’t always mean peace. And smiles don’t always reflect happiness.
Then one day, they are gone. And suddenly, we find words we never shared with them. At their funeral, we hear people say things like, “He was such a kind soul,” or “She never said no to anyone.” We speak of their sacrifices, their goodness, their ability to always show up. But the truth is, these words come too late. The person who most deserved to hear them is no longer there to listen. Why do we do this? Why do we express love, gratitude, and admiration only after someone dies?
Just a few months ago, I lost one of my uncles. A few days ago, it was his birthday. In our family WhatsApp group, everyone was sending messages—“Happy birthday, we miss you,” “Gone too soon,” “You’ll always be in our hearts.” And I sat there quietly, remembering how we never wished him on his birthday when he was alive. I never called him just to say “Happy birthday” or “How are you?” I was always busy. There was always something more ‘urgent’ than a two-minute call. And now, that regret has carved a permanent space in my heart. That feeling—that I could have done something so small, so simple, yet so meaningful—will stay with me forever.
The world we live in moves fast. We’re busy chasing deadlines, goals, and daily tasks. And in the middle of it all, we forget to see people as they are—not just for what they do for us, but for who they are. We assume the strong don’t need support. We believe that silence means someone is fine. And we wait for special occasions—weddings, birthdays, funerals—to express emotions that should be shared every now and then.
As someone who believes deeply in family values, I feel this is where we need to pause and reflect. The real essence of family lies in presence—not just being physically around, but being emotionally available. Take a moment to ask your parents how their day was, not just how your day went. Sit with your grandparents, even if they don’t talk much. Ask your sibling if they’re truly okay—not just if work is going well. Thank that cousin or friend who always shows up, without expecting recognition.
Let’s change this culture of delayed appreciation. Let’s not wait to post emotional tributes after someone is gone. Let’s write those messages today. Let’s say, “I love you,” “I respect you,” or “You inspire me,” while they’re still here to hear it. Let’s give people the joy of being seen, valued, and understood—while they are still alive.
Kindness isn’t just about helping others. It’s about noticing them. It’s about making people feel they matter—not just for what they do, but for who they are. If you’re reading this today, maybe it’s time to make that phone call—not to ask for a favor, but just to say, “I see you. I appreciate you. Tell me your story.”
Shreyas Trivedi 